Death by ppt

Spotted near the coffee machine

We spent 20 min tried to rescue a senior citizen who had been in the bathroom for 40 min bc we thought she had a heart attack. Turns out she had bad gas issues and was too embarassed to come out.

“He’s known for two things: embezzling and piracy. Oh, and having lots of porn on his computer”

A older person in my meeting just took out a magnifying glass to read his blackberry emails.

Remember how awkward it was the day after you got drunk, hooked up with a co-worker and then wore his pants home at 3am because you couldn’t find yours in the apartment? Well thats nothing compared to how awkward it got when he returned them to you at work the next day.

My boss described how he color coordinates his wallet, shoes, belt, socks scarf, gloves and earmuffs.

My three new favorite words: “Out of scope”

I definitely just stapled myself during a client meeting and proceeded to bleed on several of the handouts. Goodbyyyyye credibility.

Internship mentoring session turned out to be a trip to the range to learn how to shoot shotguns and semi-automatic guns

The same mgr tried killing a bat in his garage by trying to shoot it. His garage didn’t do so well.